#flashbangs myself with white

[arsenicxarcana]

not totally in the letter of the meme but lets be real he respects his own opinion the most

[drunkcleric]

Turns out they flashback you during a laser eye test

Fml I looked like my icon while muttering "where am I?!"

[windrunner]

thinking about buying some keyboard switches to ignore my own homos*xuality

^ i got a free sample of these (just enough for my keypad. which i don't really use rn due to it not being weighted enough....) and i've been wanting to get them for a while but didn't allow myself to until i got a consistent source of income

[aria0fgold]

Alec and his homophobic (/j) red hair giving me eyestrain. I hate him (affectionately).

[meowie17]

SCU hardest difficulty writing resource

I was working on an SCU writing project when I realized that no one had made a list of the changes made in the hardest difficulty video so I decided to do it myself it took me 3 hours, 53 minutes, 35 seconds, and 61 milliseconds and is 12 pages 7445 characters long excluding spaces its got some gaps and definitely has errors because I don't myself have access to the mod and thus can double check these things nor look at the extra stuff we didn't see like the horses that being said I would love it if anyone wanted to add on.

Here it is after the cut:

Charlie

Enchanting 

Horns Five causes you to make a clown horn nous when taking damage if holding something with the enchantment

Crafting 

You need a crafting table to create a furnace

To create a chest you need to make a chest plate out of wood in a furnace

Smelting

You need a furnace to create a crafting table

Interacting with a lit furnace sets you on fire

You can create a meat sword in a furnace using red meat like pork

Food

He added cardiovascular disease so if you eat too much red meat you die

And olk plank can be turned into a piece of mutton

When you eat a pec of bread a message will appear in chat that says “Oh {Name} always loafing around”

When you eat a piece of raw cod it will soot out an explosive projectile in the direction they were looking 

There seem to be two types of raw salmon one enchanted and one not the enchanted on is enchanted with knockback X

Eating an apple causes the chunk the player is on to be eaten away down to bedrock i also heard a distorted Schlatt “apple” but I'm not sure if that's the mod or the video

Eating rotten flesh spawns a lot of zombies I’m estimating that it's at least 60

Clicking with the Gapple summons a tower of six TNT each one block apart that floats in the air and then explodes along lighting striking to the front left and right

Eating an enchanted golden apple causes about four  chunks that the player is on to suddenly disappear

Bizly 

Mobs

We know that he did something fucked up to horses but we don't know what it was exactly

Iron golems look like naked villagers

Polorbaers look like pink among us, are always hostile, and take less damage oh and their speed has been increased

Chickens rapidly multiply when near players are always hostile have a slight increase in speed and do a lot of damage

Cows have red eyes their head or flipped and they slowly float upwards they are also immune to the explosives fish send out as they phase through the cow

Spiders look like the default Lego minifig

Villagers sell the Sonk Ponkel for one emerald 

There is no such thing as a baby chicken all chickens spawn in fully mature

Zombies have white possibly glowing eyes

Sheep scream

Lamas have been reskinned to look like the fortnight loot lamas and their spit damage has increased. It is unclear if they had their drops changed as we never see one killed

There is an entity we never get a good look at or description of that isn't normally in the game and if it is seen you have to stand completely still to survive it, it also makes strange industrial machine noises

Wolves die when someone looks at them

Hoglins are tinted lime green

Squids ink you making you blind

Taming a parrot spawns a wither

Endermen look like weird stretched turtles

Bees are a turquoise mint color, are permanently angry, and drop bee straws which summon more bees

Condi

The Nether

You randomly combust

Netherbrick doesn't have a texture

Nether fortresses spawn wolves

The End

Endstone is replaced by pizza

You get nausea for 2 min 30 sec upon entering the end

The ender dragon’s been replaced with a block of dirt

The dragon's breath attack spawns bees

Breaking an end crystal spawns about 5 TNT when you respawn after exiting the end through the portal you get killed immediately 

Grizzly

Tools 

Torches are upside down and they flashbang when placed down 

The iron shovel forces you to dig straight down once you use it and while activated all blocks take a single hit to break including bedrock then once you have fallen into the void it Tps you to the sky directly on top of where you fall into the void then get teleported back to the top in an infinite loop

The diamond peacock breaks after one use and makes a squeaky noise

Weapons

Wooden swords give you splinters that damage you every time you use the sword, (and may also blind you not sure about that last bit)

Bows fire once and do a million damage

They added in “Vanishing Mist” the sword that splits the world in half it does about half of the ender dragons' HP

They added a fucking Glock and bullets 

Nature 

Dirt can feel pain and screams when you break it

Dirt gives you the hunger effect

Water is poisonous and hurts you if you go in it or drink it

Theirs some kind of a never-ending storm

Lava heals you and while it does set you on fire that fire is harmless except in the nether where it acts like normal lava

Misc

Unclear jurisdiction

When a player is struck by lightning they turn into a zombie

Coal gives you black lung

Buckets have a chance to spill but I'm not sure if it's from sprinting or just walking around charlie did say “Be careful not to run with that bucket” but that could be hyperbole

The sea pickle makes Jojo yare yare noises

We are told not to touch granite limestone obsidian or cobwebs but we aren't ever told what they do/why we shouldn't touch them

Something happened with silverfish but I can't tell what it is over the panic about chickens

You can also craft in a furnace

Crying obsidian is round

The gasts face has been replaced with a zoomed-in picture of Obama

Name changes

TNT, Crafting Table, Chest, stone sword, Raw salmon, Iron pickaxe, trident, iron sword, ender pearl, eye of ender, shield, gold nugget, red mushroom, iron sword, enchanted golden apple, gunpowder, iron helmet, iron leggings, crafting table, crimson door, ladder, olk fence, ladder, diamond pickaxe, golden helmet, golden apple, golden chest plate, and Apple keep their names

An unknown splash potion is nicknamed Shame juice this isn't an in-mod change but one used for storytelling. As far as I can tell it is either a splash water bottle, an awkward splash potion, a thick splash potion, or a mundane splash potion this is based on the color

Dirt is Grund

Egg is E G G

Olk planks are Plok Anks

Mutton is olk mutton

Chicken is raw BIRD

Stick is stikk

Birch log is WHOAH Log

Sea pickle is Sonk ponkel

Torch is hcroT

Coal is Cole

Carrot is Orange

Bread is Loaf Of

Raw cod is Raw COD

Enchated raw Salmon is Schlamonn

Feather is Tickle monster

Dandiloin is Lion.

Cobblestone is Carble

What seed is What seeds

Dark Olk is Alright log

Rotten flesh is Yuck meat

Bone is Boner

Spruce log is oh yeah log

Emerald is Eerald

Bow is now woB

Jungle Log is hee hee log

Obsidian is die

Poppy is Poopy

Oak sapling is Little tree

Water bucket is water bucker

Olk log is mmhm Log

Diorite is Donko

Dark olk sapling is DONKLING

Andicte is Ants

Redstone torch is rad s t on e t            o            r            c            h

Acasha is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Log

Flint is Sharp Rock

Iron ore is Irb Ornb

Iron ingot is Iran Ingot

Dark olk planks are DONK PLONKS

Dimond is Damon

Red tulip is rope

Brown mushroom is penis

Twisting vines is affliction

Beginning list bullshit

Bane of arthropods spawns spiders

Beacon recipe changed to 8 pork and 1 cooked pork

Crafting eyes of ender the normal way gives ghost eyes that vanish when you craft them

Crafting table recipes changed to smelting planks

Custom Names

Changed thorns to horns, plays doot when hit

Changed sharpness to bonkness, plays bonk sound effect when used

Chest recipe changed to a chestplate out of planks

Dropping a slime ball on a stick creates a Slimecicle which summons baby slimes when used

Flint and steel require netherite to craft

Fliped the torch texture

Frost walker removes water around you

Switched crafting table and furnace textures, names, and GUI’s

Shield recipe changed to 1 fence

Swords craft diagonally

Interacting with or touching lit furnaces sets you on fire

Plank recipes give 3 planks

Mutton crafts an oak button and an oak button crafts mutton, their sprites are flipped, and their names are merged. Same with cooked mutton, just spruce

Eye of enders are crafted with 1 sapling and 4 seeds

Eating pufferfish spawns pufferfish

Eating sweet berries either teleports you to a random player of them to you facing them and says "Now kiss."

Eating an apple sets off a sinkhole

Eating a melon slice spawns an ocean around you

Eating a tropical fish puts you in an aquarium with mining fatigue

Eating a spider eye spawns cobwebs

Eating rotten flesh spawns 1-100 zombies

Eating a cookie sets you on fire

Eating cake explodes

Eating carrots gives you 10 seconds of night vision

Eating rabbit gives you high jump boost, only cooked rabbit gives you slow-falling

Eating pumpkin pie puts a pumpkin on your head for 4 minutes

Eating kelp gives you more back each time

Eating beef/steak plays random Beef Stew sounds

Eating a beetroot does a heart of damage and takes back the hunger it filled

Eating baked potato puts a baked potato on your head for 4 minutes, makes you invisible, gives you blindness and temporary nausea

Eating 10 pieces of red meat in a row will send a message in chat before you die of cardiovascular disease

Eating chorus fruit plays a screaming chorus of ahh

Eating an enchanted golden apple teleports you to y1000 and makes you explode When eaten in the nether, creates a huge hole into the void

Eating raw cod shoots an explosive cod rocket where you're looking that collides with blocks and entities

Eating raw salmon gives you a knockback 10 salmon, Schlamonn

Eating a raw porkchop gives you a fire aspect 10 porkchop, Very Spicy Pigstab

[porcelainstarrr]

CHAPTER 2

⌖

The sun slapped me across the face like it had a personal vendetta. I groaned, rolling over and yanking the blanket over my head, already regretting every life decision that led to me forgetting to close the curtains last night. My new apartment was filled with light, warm, blinding light. I cracked one eye open, only to shut it again like I’d been flashbanged by Mother Nature herself. My head throbbed faintly from last night’s wine. My limbs were stiff. My thoughts, sluggish. I sat up slowly, my hair a tangled mess. I squinted against the brightness, shielding my eyes like a hungover vampire crawling out of a crypt. “Alright, alright,” I muttered, throwing my legs over the side of the bed. “I’m awake. You win.” I stretched, my body creaking like it was protesting the idea of functioning. The space around me still felt too quiet. Too new. The soft echo of my breathing bounced off bare walls that hadn’t lived long enough to hold memories. No dents. No scuff marks. No soul, yet. Today was my first official day.

New job.

New routine.

New everything.

And underneath it all, nerves.

Buzzing under my skin like a second heartbeat. I dragged myself into the bathroom and took a long, hot shower, longer than necessary, because part of me wasn’t ready to face the world. Not yet. I needed the steam. The quiet. The pause. My chest felt tight, not in a bad way, just… full. Like my whole body was holding its breath. By the time I stepped out, I moved on autopilot. Hair. Makeup. The outfit I’d picked out two days ago, like pretending I had it all together would actually make it true. My hands were steady. My heart wasn’t. In the kitchen, I made a quick breakfast. Nothing fancy. Just enough to get something in my stomach. I brewed coffee in my new machine and swore it tasted better just because it came from my counter. I stood there for a moment, warm mug in hand, staring out the window at Hell’s Kitchen as it began to stir. 

Cars rolled past like clockwork.

Dogs barked at nothing.

People in suits walked with purpose like they were born to own the sidewalk. I watched them for a long time, taking slow sips of my coffee. This is my life now. I said it in my head like a reminder. Like maybe if I repeated it enough, the nerves would go away. They didn’t. I packed my bag slowly. Laptop. Notebook. Pens. ID badge. Lip balm. My nerves. I looked around my apartment again. It was still too clean. Too untouched. But it smelled like citrus and fabric softener. The sunlight made everything look golden. Like a soft filter over something fragile. I caught my reflection in the hallway mirror. I looked calm. Professional. Ready. (I wasn’t. But I had to be.) I grabbed my keys. Locked the door behind me. Took one deep breath… And walked into my first day.

─────── ⌖ ───────

The building was colder than I expected. Not just the temperature, though the A/C was clearly trying to prove something, but the energy. Everything was sterile. Clean. White-walled. The kind of quiet that wasn’t comforting. It was controlled. Like even the walls were watching. I stepped through the front doors with my new work ID clipped neatly to my blazer and my nerves tucked behind a professional smile I wasn’t sure was convincing. My shoes clicked softly against the polished floors, too loud in the silence. My chest felt tight, but my face stayed neutral. Trained. Calm. A staff assistant greeted me, young, brisk, polite. The kind of smile that had done this a hundred times and knew not to linger too long. She led me through the building in quick, efficient steps.

Lobby.

Break room.

Archives.

Restricted wings.

I nodded, took mental notes, tried not to fidget with the strap of my bag or the edge of my sleeve. I kept my pace steady, even when I wanted to look back, just to make sure the hallway wasn’t closing behind me.And finally, my office. “This is yours,” she said, opening the door and flipping on the lights. I stepped inside. Spacious. Neutral tones. Not cold exactly, but not warm either. A large desk. Empty shelves waiting to be filled. A window, floor-to-ceiling, offering a clear view of the city below. From here, Hell’s Kitchen looked calm. Almost… ordinary. But nothing about today felt ordinary. “Thank you,” I said softly. A small smile. She gave a polite nod and disappeared down the hallway, heels fading into the hush. And just like that, I was alone. I stood there for a moment, just breathing. The quiet hum of the fluorescent lights. The subtle hum of the A/C. The sound of my own breath, echoing too loudly in a space that wasn’t mine yet. I walked to the desk. Fingers grazing the edge of it. Cool to the touch. I sat down slowly, adjusting the chair as I settled in. The seat gave slightly under my weight—too stiff, like it hadn’t been used in months.

It felt… blank. Like a canvas someone forgot to paint on. But it would become mine.

 Eventually.

I rolled my shoulders, opened my notebook, wrote the date in the top corner like it mattered. Ten minutes later, a stack of patient files arrived, placed silently at the corner of my desk by someone who didn’t even glance in my direction. No hello. No warning. Just, here. I reached for the top folder out of habit, flipping it open just enough to scan the name, Then there was a knock. I looked up. My supervisor stepped inside. Mid-50s. Sharp suit. Tired eyes. The kind of man who looked like he’d seen too much and trusted no one. “Doctor,” he said with a nod. “Settling in?”

“Trying to.” I offered a tight, polite smile. He walked toward me and held out a single file, Not from the stack. Not just another name. This one was different. The way he placed it in front of me said so.

“This is your first priority.”

I looked down.

The name stamped on the label in bold:

POINDEXTER, BENJAMIN LEONARD.

Something shifted in my chest. Barely. But I felt it. I opened the file slowly, my eyes scanning the summary at the top.

Former FBI agent.

United States Army veteran.

Unmatched accuracy.

Lethal. Controlled.

Diagnosed with multiple psychological disorders.

Raised in an orphanage.

Parents: deceased — circumstances unclear.

Suffered a spinal injury years ago. Survived. Barely.

Now in recovery. My eyebrows lifted slightly. My lips parted, just barely. The file was thick. Worn at the corners like it had been read over and over again. Marked with red tabs. Clipped with handwritten notes. Behavioral reports. Incident logs. Federal transcripts, some clear, some borderline incoherent. I didn’t say anything, but I felt the weight of it in my hands.

Heavy.

Both literally and… not.

“His conviction is under federal review,” my supervisor said, arms crossed. “The court is considering dropping it. But only if we can prove he’s no longer a threat.” I looked down again. This time slower.

Benjamin Leonard Poindexter.

His name sat there like a warning.

A line drawn in the sand between what the system forgives… and what it still fears. “Document him. Observe. Evaluate. If you believe he’s mentally fit, your word could be what gets him released.”

I nodded slowly. Carefully.

“Understood.”

He lingered. Watched me. Like he wasn’t sure if he was making a smart decision… or a dangerous one. Then he left. Quietly. The door clicked shut behind him. 

And I was alone again. Just me… and the file. I slid it into my bag, pressed it closed, and forced myself to move on.

Like today was just another first day. Like it didn’t already feel different. Because it did.

─────── ⌖ ───────

That night, I didn’t think much of the file. It was just another case. A thick stack of government paper and quiet red flags. Nothing more. It sat beside my laptop on the coffee table as I curled up on the floor, legs crossed, wine glass in hand, back rested against the couch. The glow of my screen reflected softly off the pages. I told myself I was just getting ahead. Reading. Prepping. Doing my job. I’d handled complex patients before. This was no different. I opened the file again, more out of obligation than curiosity. But the deeper I read, the quieter the room felt. Page after page. Details that blurred between clinical and... unsettling.

Former FBI agent.

United States Army veteran.

Unmatched accuracy.

Psychological instability.

Severe trauma history.

Past incidents involving known vigilantes.

A few names jumped out from the reports.

Special Agent Rahul Nadeem. Karen Page. Matthew Murdock. Franklin Nelson. Wilson Fisk.

I blinked. I leaned back, furrowed my brows, and chewed on the inside of my cheek. That name, Wilson Fisk. Wasn’t just familiar. It was heavy. I lifted my wine glass and took a long sip before grabbing my phone. I called Gigi. She picked up before the second ring. “Miss me already?” 

“Kind of,” I muttered, dragging the file into my lap. “But also… I might’ve just been handed one of the most complicated cases of my career.”

“Ooh.” She perked up. “Do tell.” I opened my laptop and pulled up the first tab, voice low as I read aloud: “Former agent. Military background. Underwent a psychological break while working under pressure. Possible connection to Wilson Fisk.”

There was a pause. 

“…Wait. Fisk? The Fisk?”

“Mhm.” 

My mouth was dry. I flipped to another page, scanning the timeline of incidents. “Was involved in a string of high-profile incidents a few years back. Impersonated a vigilante, Daredevil. Killed people. A church. Public attacks. Surveillance footage. The whole thing.” There was a pause on the other end.

“...Wait,” Gigi said finally. “What’s his name?”

I hesitated.

Something in me didn’t want to say it out loud. Glancing down.

“Benjamin Leonard Poindexter.”

A beat.

And then—

“No. Fucking. Way.”

I blinked. “What?”

“That’s the guy from the news! The one who dressed up like Daredevil and went on a full-blown kill spree.” I froze, My stomach twisted. “Since when do you watch the news?”

“I don’t. I read chaotic criminal blogs when I can’t sleep. He’s that guy, the one who put on the suit and snapped. People thought Daredevil lost his mind for a second. He was everywhere. I thought he was in prison.”

“The charges were dropped.”

“What?!”

“Yeah,” I said, scrolling. “Says here: ‘Case dismissed due to legal complications, classified witness statements, and insufficient evidence tied to mental stability.’ Translation: someone powerful helped him walk.”

Gigi made a sound, somewhere between a laugh and a scoff. “Or someone needed him silenced… or needed him.”

I didn’t realize I was fidgeting with my wine glass until it almost slipped from my hand. I set it down carefully, staring at the laptop screen in front of me. Then, slowly, I typed his name into the search bar. And there he was. Page after page. Archived articles. Court reports. Security footage stills. A man in red, not his suit. Not his role. A suit he didn’t earn.

Impersonation.

Federal breach.

Psychotic break.

Wilson Fisk.

I set my glass down, I leaned forward, elbows on my knees, trying to ground myself. Trying to stay clinical. Objective. But that tight feeling hadn’t left. In fact, it was getting worse. “FBI Agent Benjamin Poindexter under investigation for impersonating Daredevil during public attacks. Multiple civilian deaths. Confirmed confrontation with Wilson Fisk.” Spinal injury. Survived. Charges dropped. Case sealed.” I read out loud waiting for Gigi’s response. 

“...Well,” Gigi exhaled. “That’s casual.”

“He’s not known as anything else. No alias. No nickname.”

“Not yet,” she muttered under her breath. I clicked through the photos. In every image, he looked the same. Still.

Not smiling.

Not scowling.

I felt something stir in my stomach. Unease. Curiosity. Heat. Wait… what? God, what the hell was wrong with me? Just... watching the camera like he already knew what the world would say about him. “And now,” I murmured, “I’m supposed to prove whether he’s mentally fit to be released.”

“Also,” Gigi paused, “I hate myself for asking this but, please tell me there’s a photo.”

I clicked. One grainy shot from surveillance footage. Another, newer, cleaner. Probably for internal records. He didn’t look present. Didn’t even feel real. Just stared through the lens like he could burn a hole through it.

“ yeah yeah look, I sent you his picture. “ I took a picture of my screen and sent it to Gigi. Waiting for a reaction.

“...Okay,” Gigi whispered. “Why is he hot?”

I rolled my eyes, even though I was still staring at him. “He’s a literal criminal.”

“He WAS a criminal. Technically he’s just… a misunderstood veteran now.” I gave her a look she couldn’t see. “Yeah, well… he’s my responsibility now.” There was a beat of silence. “Damn,” she muttered. “They really threw you into the psychological deep end.” I looked down at the file again. My fingers tapped lightly against the edge of the page. “His charges were dropped. Somehow. He’s being considered for release.”

“And it’s your job to decide if he’s sane.” I nodded, even though she couldn’t see it. “Well,” I exhaled, “I have a session with him tomorrow.”

I could feel Gigi’s reaction through the phone “Jesus. Already?” I hummed a soft ‘yeah’ in response. I inhaled and fixed my posture “I need to prep questions. Review his behavior records. Stay objective.” 

“And maybe wear something bulletproof.”

I smiled faintly. “Yeah. I just need to prep. Write some questions. Stay focused.” I said quietly, rethinking everything. Was moving here even worth it? Gigi broke the silence and interrupted my thoughts by saying. “Good. Be smart. Be sharp. And if he even blinks weirdly, throw the chair and run.” I snorted. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.” Eventually, the conversation drifted. We changed the subject. Laughed a little. Gigi distracted me like she always did. But after I hung up?

The silence returned.

The file sat open beside me.

His name in bold:

BENJAMIN LEONARD POINDEXTER.

─────── ⌖ ───────

heyyy, its me. if you’ve made it this far, i love you. truly. thank you for reading and letting this story live in your head, even just a little. i’d really love to hear your thoughts so far: what you’re feeling, what made you pause, what you’re curious about. chapter 3 is in the works. stay tuned.

yours truly, raey ♡

─────── ⌖ ───────

[ next chapter ]

[tizzypizza]

Top 7 idol list?

I was saving this so I could draw it at some point but oh my god I am SWAMPED and can't see myself with time to do it so top list umm.

1- Shiver. I think this is self-explanatory. I love Asian women so much (I'm Asian before anyone starts raising any eyebrows) and her personality is so funny. She's incredibly theatrical and dramatic and has this big persona that she puts on that falls apart SO quickly when it comes to her friends but otherwise she is fierce!! A force to be reckoned with!! But also a sopping wet little guy.

2- Marina. I love women in STEM I LOVE women in STEM so much. My two immediate draws are like... Traditional-looking Asian woman and Smart Woman so. Marina is such a fascinating character and it's always a shame to see her so heavily uwu-ified, she's super smart and she has a lot going on besides just her attachment to Pearl!! But TBH her attachment to Pearl is part of what endeared her to me. Girl who has experienced The Horrors and is kind of a living supercomputer becomes sappy mush when Girlfriend Flashbang. She was also the one who lowkey got me into Splatoon simply by being the prettiest Nintendo character I'd ever seen as a kid.

3- Pearl. I hesitate to put Pearl above Frye because really they're super tight in my head but the only thing that knocks her up a peg is that her dialogue is a lot more fun for me to write in English (Frye talks really interestingly too! She genuinely speaks like an old man in the Japanese but that's just not reflected in the English). I love her so much because at so many moments where she could choose to be snarky or witty with Marina or anyone else, she always chooses kindness and she's always so supportive in her own spunky little way. She's so genuine and fun and silly and self assured and confident and she's so COOL. I hate drawing her hair though. I actually used to kinda hate Pearl as a kid because I fell for the forehead propaganda but I know better now.

4- Frye. LIKE I SAID in my head Frye and Pearl are tied. I love Frye she's such a sweetheart and she has such a fun fierceness about her. She cares deeply for her friends and she keeps her cool the best out of all of her friends in Deep Cut and she DANCES!! Her character design is one of the most interesting designs I've had the pleasure of drawing a shit ton of times and despite being team Shiver nearly every time I get really sad whenever she doesn't win Splatfests :( She deserves it (and tbh I think she deserved to be the leader of Deep Cut but don't @ me on that)

5- Marie. I wish I had more opinions on Marie but given that my earliest hands-on exposure to Splatoon was Sp2 when my friend used to let me walk around as her Octoling and play a little bit of Salmon Run (lost outpost my beloved wherefore art thou) and I've never played Sp1 or 2's campaign I can't really say anything about her other than I think she's really pretty. I think she's often characterized as the more flippant and low-energy one which is a cool thing to see in an idol (who are typically meant to be all smiles) but she's also really silly! She cracks a lot of jokes in the Sp3 campaign!! She's also just really cool and really pretty and white is one of my favorite colors

6- Big Man. LISTEN!!!! I LOVE HIM I REALLY DO BUT Frye-Pearl are soooo close together in my head and I feel only a little less strongly about him than Pearl but I really really love him. He's a blast to draw and honestly he's a lot more fun in the Japanese since Frye and Shiver have extremely thick accents and he's the only one who talks like Just Some Guy. He helps reign them in but he can rarely control them. He's such a lovable little dude.

7- Callie. Love the girl but I've never once resonated with her. I don't do well in the way of happy-go-lucky fun types but I don't hate her! I think she's got a lot of room to be interesting. My friend characterizes her with some flaws relating to like. Octarian prejudice which I think is pretty dope. And I'm not a huge pink fan... But I WILL say she is one of the most fun to draw.

[goshen-applecrumbledore]

so this is probably a crazy thing to say to you but I was watching the white lotus s3 finale last night. and there’s a moment where one of the brothers says to the other “if you made one of your shakes, I’d drink it.” and i paused the show because another line i’d read somewhere immediately flashbanged into my head: “if you taught me the language, I’d speak it.” I had a visceral need to find this poem or song or quote and post these two images together. cut to an hour of fruitless googling/pinterest scrolling later and I had resigned myself to my fate. it could not be found. cut to ten minutes ago when i sat straight up on the couch and realized. Oh. that is not a poetry excerpt after all. that is a line from goshen’s carmen berzatto/richie jerimovich fanfiction posted on ao3.org wherein carmy hooks up with his dead brother’s best friend slash lover. anyways i am extremely relieved to have found my answer and thought you may like to hear what an insane impact Seconds has had on me all these months later. truly one of the fics of all time. thank you for your service.

this is soooooo nice thank you 😭 I have done this with so many other fics and it's so exciting to have someone do it with mine!! that line that sticks in your head!!!!

I'm very excited to write more carmrich in the future. never far from my mind. thank you for the kind word. I hope the white lotus incest brothers had a satisfying finale.

[idridian]

staring at a picture of douglas rain in the white pope outfit from hadrian vii and turning the brightness on my phone up so i can see a detail better, instantly flashbanging myself in the process. as one does

[springfallendeer]

Lethal Culinary Note: The Forest Keeper

@xnanosilverx Alright. I'll give this a go.

Ayala's culinary notes:

The "Forest Keeper", or "The Giant" as myself and my crew members generally call them, is a terrifying creature indeed.

It is best to avoid these creatures, as our weapons fail to do any observable damage to it. Shovels (unsurprisingly) have no effect on its tough outer skin, which I would compare to the thick bark of an ancient tree.

Stun grenades work in a pinch, but only as a means of buying a few extra seconds of escape. If timed correctly, one of these flashbangs can be used to rescue a captured crewmate from what would otherwise be certain death.

Without a stun grenade, anyone unfortunate enough to be caught by one of these creatures is beyond means of saving. All that awaits will be a quick, but undoubtedly excruciating death; at least if the massive cloud of blood and the agonized wails are anything to go off of.

One would have to be not only incredibly desperate, but insanely foolish to try and make a meal of one of these creatures. But suffice to say, after having found myself stranded on hostile alien moons so many times... I have found myself in the exact right situation to try and take the risk.

I was fortunate enough to find one of these creatures either dead, or near dead. I was also fortunate enough to not be found by whatever it was that had brought this behemoth to its end. No doubt, whatever it was that had the might to bring one of these creatures down would have had no trouble using me as an appetizer, or as an after dinner mint.

When I found the Giant, it appeared to be critically wounded. I am unsure if it was legitimately dead, or if I merely acted as a scavenger which crept in to opportunistically devour the near dead creature.

Its thick hide had been cracked and splintered. There were multiple spots along its body where the thick outer skin had been completely split open, seemingly by some sort of crushing force.

Thick, viscous blood better comparable to drying tree sap pooled from these many open wounds. It had the look and feel of molasses, and was equally as bitter and sweet when I gave it a tentative taste.

The flesh inside those open wounds was pale and off-white. Considering the overall look and texture of the outside of the creature, I expected it to behave much like the inner pulp that hides behind the bark of a tree. But as I scraped the meat with the edge of a sharp rock, I found that it was nothing like that at all.

The inner flesh of a Giant is surprisingly soft. At least when compared to the hard bark that makes up its outer shell. I would compare it to the flesh of a peach; firm and juicy, but capable of being crushed by hand.

I gathered as much of the strange flesh as I could manage.

Unlike the other scavengers of that hostile world, I was not prepared for what might happen if some other predator happened by to lay claim to the body. With my limited supplies, I only managed to collect a couple pounds "meat", though I question if the substance I went on to consume could even be classified as such.

With my spoils in hand, I hastily made my way back to my makeshift shelter in the nearest facility. It was there that my experiments began.

I tried the meat raw first.

The bitter-sweetness of the blood carried over into the meat, but only until it was cleaned and soaked in water to do away with the unpleasant taste.

Once cleaned, the flesh of the Giant was... Surprisingly bland. There was a slight nuttiness to it, but outside of that my first impression of the meat was incredibly underwhelming.

The raw meat had more going for it in terms of texture than it did anything else. It reminded me of dried apple slices, in a way. Soft on the very outside with a firmer, more crisp center that had a faint chew to it.

I boiled, grilled, and smoked what remained, and I did so in equal portions. All of which I went on to consume over the following few days as I anxiously awaited the return of my crew.

The meat proved equally as bland when boiled, but took on a much softer texture. I'd compare the texture of the boiled Giant meat to that of a soft-boiled egg. It was almost gelatinous. If I had just had some salt or some other means of adding flavor, it would have made for a pleasant meal.

When grilled, the meat somehow firmed up and became even more chewy. Any hint of "crunch" or crispness that it might have had completely disappeared once cooked over a flame. I cannot even compare the texture to that of any other food that I have consumed, it changed so drastically.

The closest that I could possibly compare it to is what I know of more exotic meats like Octopus or Squid, but due to my low status aboard the colony, I cannot even verify how accurate of a comparison this might be.

Outside of the baffling (but not all that unpleasant) texture, the meat actually developed a flavor! There was a faint smokiness from being cooked over a fire, and the previously established nutty notes of the flesh became far more pronounced.

If I had to compare to a specific type of nut, I would say that grilled Giant meat tastes very similar to cashews. Even without the luxury of seasoning, it made for a surprisingly pleasant meal!

As for the smoked meat... Well. It would strongly advise that anyone else who happens to acquire Giant meat avoids repeating my mistake. When smoked, the meat takes on a texture best compared to aged shoe leather. Not only was it incredibly difficult to chew, but it sucked all moisture from my mouth with each small bite that I managed to take.

The smoky taste of the smoked meat was also overwhelming, to the point that I suspect that the taste of my cooking ashes might have been more appealing by comparison.

Had I the supplies and the means... Maybe the smoked giant flesh might have made for a better ingredient in a soup or a stew. But alas, that was my first, and thus far my only opportunity to experiment with such an unusual source of food.

In the even that I am given a second or even a third opportunity, I will happily update my notes and develop better recipes for my comrades to make use of. In the meantime... Well. The recipes can be found below.

FOREST KEEPER RECIPES:

Raw: Raw Giant flesh appears to be perfectly safe to eat if consumed fresh.

Soak for at least an hour in cold, clean water first to remove the bitterness of the blood The pat dry and chop into bite sized pieces. Can be eaten as is, but if available, add a sprinkle of salt and pepper to vastly improve the otherwise bland flavor.

Do not eat raw if the flesh has darkened, or if it has taken on a strange smell. This is most likely a sign of the meat having become infested with bacteria, and will undoubtedly lead to food poisoning. Which may lead to death.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Boiled (or as a soup): First soak the acquired meat in cold water for at least an hour to remove the bitterness of the blood. Throw out and replace the tainted water, then remove the meat and cut it into bite size cubes.

Return the cubes of meat to the cooking vessel and bring to a heavy boil. Cook until the water takes on a milky hue and the meat develops a gelatinous texture. Consume as is, or eat alongside the milky broth for a very bland soup.

If the luxury is available, enhance the flavor of the meat (or soup) with salt. Adding any available wild grain, herb, or vegetable will not only make for a more filling meal, but it will greatly improve the overall flavor.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Grilled: First soak the meat in cold water for at least an hour. Then remove and pat dry, before cutting into thin strips. Skewer the strips or wrap them around the cooking implement of choice.

Arrange the prepped meat over an open flame, preferably away from any drifting smoke to prevent the smoky flavor from getting too intense. Bring the meat close enough to feel the intensity of the heat without risking direct contact with the flames.

Cook for around 7 minutes, or until the flesh has visibly firmed up (it will shrink) and developed a slight char. Perfectly palatable as is, but could likely be improved with salt if such a luxury is available.

(I personally consider this the best means of preparation. Both in terms of texture and flavor.)

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Smoked: Ill-advised, but suitable as a means of preserving the meat in the event of an emergency....

First soak the meat in cold water for at least an hour. Then remove and pat dry, before cutting into thin strips. The thinner the better, as the final product will be incredibly tough and difficult to chew.

Hang the strips of meat over a prepared stick over a low flame. Allow the heat of the flame and the smoke of the wood to slowly cook and dry the meat over the course of a few hours; at least 6, and as many as 12. The resulting meat will be very tough and very dry, but will keep for weeks without refrigeration.

Eating these strips of smoked meat is not advised. Instead, mix into water to rehydrate the meat and boil to make for a weak but very smoky soup.

[rvbkinfessions]

yoyoyo!!! a noncanon RvB kin here comin atcha live from the vast nullity!!! >..D

'names Agent Indiana, Indie for short, i didn't talk much, and was a TANK compared to most other freelancers.

white armor and purple highlights. also had black-tinted out visor to myself from flashbangs.

t'was an innerestin' "storyline."

nyways.

the main reason i wanted to share this is. uh. well, i died...then came back from the impossible.

my uh. head got blown off by a sniper.

i couldn't take cover in time. think my oversheild upgrade malfunctioned or somethin'.

the last thing i yelled, accordin to someone who remembers me, was, “I'M FUCKIN INVINCIBLE!!!”

that was ironic as hell.

...paraphrasing here, but some essentially said;

no one's ever seen an AI scream in rage and send that many robotic soldiers in one direction at once.

after a bit, i came back somehow, don't remember how of what happened. but i remember that i came back...

anyways, thats how i got my irrational fear of sniper weapons / snipers!

-brokennexus

.

[chai-dye]

Was anyone gonna tell me that 'front flash' is just the screen going as brightly all-white as possible for a few seconds or was I just supposed to get flashbanged in total darkness and find out myself

[little-shiny-sharpies]

Oh that was a HORRID fucking nightmare

It’s currently an hour before my alarm goes off and i just woke up from a dream where I was playing a horror game akin to something like slender where you find 3 items while avoiding a monster and id gone through a few levels of it but I’ve forgot what they were, the mechanics this last level monster was it was blind but it could hear and it was like a long gangly looking thing with claws and it was a pretty scary in my dream it was all white and it’s ribs were protruding and it had a black hole for a face where some teeth were jutting out and it was voice acted too so you could hear It at all times and I was in the longest hallway’d house ever there were closets and desks I could hide in it was like a house with the anatomy of a hotel my only light was a half dead flashlight and a flashbang from a previous level that triggered the monster to kill me instantly and the death animation was it fnaf 2 foxy jumping at me but it looked like something out of resident evil man it fuckin DCARED me and it always whispered something before the game over screen like “I’ll string you by your guts.” With a bone snapping SFX before I could hit restart

So the whole reason I was PLAYING the game to begin with was because there was a Wrathion statue giveaway and the items in the game you had to find. Were 3 Wrathion plushies. Very good bait dream, I took that shit like a worm on a hook you prick. Anyways my subconscious really latched into all my game development research bc the menu was surprisingly clear, it let me select all the previous monster and read about them and their mechanics but the new one had just vague brief descriptions like “If it hears you you’re dead. Hide when it draws near.” And it’s title was just YOURE FVCKED which is funny censoring honestly but there was also a clip of the jumpscare in that menu itself so fuck you again dream for your clever jumpscare tactic of getting me while I’m in the menu.

Anyways so since I could barley see with my shit flashlight and the monster was legitimately scaring the shit out of me and the Wrathion plushies made me realize I was asleep and I wasn’t getting that statue for real I started playing the game badly so I could wake myself up (because doing anything direct would’ve made my subconscious change the game to something I wasn’t familiar with) but turned OFF my flashlight so my mind wouldn’t show me that fucked up creature when I died but I could still hear it but thank god I couldn’t feel it killing me because it randomly generated different deaths that I couldn’t see thank god again and before I woke up I closed the game and my me camera pulled back to out of the game me and I was holding my dog grounding myself and also trying to wake up and the exit game animation thing was like “oh well you lost game character doesn’t get to save their kid” like lorebait was gonna get me back in there like I’m Matpat or some shit then the animation “cracked” my screen as one last scare and I woke up and decided to write this down bc I could make that game and then use the money to buy the statue so nightmares offer solutions sometimes I guess

Anyways good morning everybody

[commanderfreddy]

im so fuckin white i flashbanged myself with my own face

[misericorde part 7 vod now on youtube]

[trans-beast]

Once I went to an art gallery and saw a room cordoned off by velvet rope. I, a 20-something full of curiosity, slipped past the velvet while nobody was looking and peeked my head inside.

Vaginas. Many, many vaginas, all sculpted in excruciating detail and painted to look like they were all growing out of the stark white walls. I swear you could see the pores in the skin on some of them.

In the span of roughly 10 seconds, I discovered that I had a kink for body horror, realized I wasn't straight, developed a new appreciation for the human form that I didn't expect to develop that day, and became fascinated with all aspects of the human body, no matter how taboo.

I then walked out of the Coochie Room™ a changed person, met back up with my friends and moved on with my day like some sculpted pusspuss didn't just give me a newfound fascination with women that was previously deemed unacceptable. I don't remember what the artist's name was, but I will always remember that room and how it forced me to look at something I was taught to consider disgusting, even though I had one of those myself, and see the beauty of human sexuality and the human form. It flashbanged me with pussy and I've been a queer little mess ever since. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

It was the strangest, funniest, dumbest and most wonderful experience I've ever had at an art gallery, thanks for coming to my TED talk.

i actually really enjoy when people leave random objects in art galleries and people start treating them as if they're art. I think it puts people into a headspace where they start looking at normal objects differently and its an opportunity for them to realize that they can do this too outside of a gallery setting. You're not dumb or tricked for seeing something on the floor of a gallery and trying to figure it out or appreciating it as an art object. The world is full of beautiful and interesting objects even some random garbage on the street is worthy of that same level of examination. Theres art everywhere if you're primed to see it.

[marsbymarsviner]

Spaceship [Creation]

After we made our UFO we had the option to use that as our final outcome or to create a new spaceship from scratch and I'm trying to push myself on this course as much as I can so I chose to make one from scratch.

I had no idea on what I was doing or what kind of shape I was going for, but I dove in headfirst and started making shapes.

The kind of thing I had in mind was a hovercraft, with a large part at the back and then the cockpit area in the front.

I can't find if I took any screenshots before this but this is my basic look for the spaceship. I had a blocky part in the middle which was meant to be the main hub/cockpit as well as two large thrusters on the side and then a very large cone at the back with three more thrusters inside.

It was difficult to model this because I didn't have a finished design in mind and also for some reason my Booleaned objects would randomly stop Booleaning sometimes. It was really odd.

After I finished modelling, I started to colour the ship. Here you could see the strange Boolean effect on the Booleaned areas. I originally wanted it to be shiny but it had a strange purple shine in some areas when I used shiny materials so I stuck to Lambert to keep it matte.

Here I managed to sort out my colouring issues by deleting the strangely duplicated versions of the thrusters and I reapplied my Boolean to make it work. I stuck with a blue theme for the ship because I like blue. I didn't really have any other reason, I just really like blue.

Here is the finished colours for the spaceship. As I said, I like blue. If I had added more detail and had more skill in Maya I probably would have added more colours but Josh said this wasn't supposed to be super detailed so I stuck with a basic design.

Here is the ship rendered into the void. It's kind of hard to see the colours with the huge white flashbang around it but at least it kind of looks like a ship?

After I rendered it, Josh suggested we take the ship and draw it a background in Photoshop so I took a different angle screenshot and did that.

I unfortunately didn't take any screenshots of this process but I do have a photo of my layers. I basically used various shades of blue and purple and blurred them to like 500% for the background, before I added white dots around and blurred them. Then I added smaller white dots for detail and I lowered the opacity of the layer so they looked like they were in the distance and then I added some more dots to add depth to look like stars.

I added some smoke coming from the bottom thrusters by making a grey blobby shape and then adding some darker grey swirly parts for detail. I wasn't sure how to detail the smoke so I googled 'smoke' and I noticed it had a lot of lighter parts and darker parts so I added the darker parts here.

After that I made the fire from the top thrusters. I used orange to make a fire shaped outline and after googling 'fire' I noticed it had a darker edge and a lighter middle so I moved the slider down to red (Making sure to not click on the colour palette so it stayed in the same position because I learnt online that good colour palettes are in the same position on different colours, so they have similar shades) and added them around the edge. I used Gaussian Blur to gently blur it and then I did a similar thing with the yellow, except I made it brighter so it stood out more. After drawing a thin middle part, I blurred it and it finally looked like fire.

It didn't exactly look right, so I added a faint glow behind the flames and also added shading from the thrusters although fire is light so it can't be shaded/in shadow but that's just a creative choice to make it look more involved in the scene.

After all this I put a purple layer over it all and changed the setting to overlay so the whole thing had a purple hue over it and it looked way brighter.

I also made a render of the spaceship with my cereal box but I'll upload that when I upload my process on my cereal box.

This spaceship was difficult, Maya was a huge pain when making this but I bullied it into submission and managed to create an outcome I'm 6/10 proud of. I'm never becoming a spaceship artist though, especially a 3D one.